Off the cuff observations of Mass Effect 3 Demo February 17, 2012

Don’t consider this a formal review, more a series of impressions of gameplay events in the order in which they occur in the demo… spoilers ahoy, ladies and gentlevermin.

·         Not surprisingly, you can’t import your ME2 game into the demo. Still, I found myself with this unexpected and very grumpy reaction that no matter how much I fiddled about with the character editor, I couldn’t conjure forth my Command Shepard (that would be one Bacon Shepard). It’s a testament to how much emotional investment BioWare has been able to tease out of me for my character. I did manage to get her ponytail close, but her facial features just never quite clicked.

·         I like how you can tailor your experience a bit more to be a straight run-and-gun, pretty story, or RPG. I like playing god over these folks, and I’ve become rather attached to them, so God… uh… RPG it is.

·         I have never seen a kid actually laugh like that when they’re playing. Especially with a toy space ship. That’s the exact laughter I’ve always heard moviemakers yank out of some adorable little moppet because you want to tug at my heart strings. This kid is totally going to get into trouble, I know it. I’m going to have to rescue him, I know it. Also, I wouldn’t mind a model of that ship the kid was playing with.

·         HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS HOW DID THE SITUATION END UP IN MASS EFFECT?

·         Really? The top Alliance brass is going to be that clueless and petulantly whiny? I understand that the writers are trying to give you a visceral “I told you so!” thrill, but I personally found that a bit much. At any moment, they’re going to ask Shepard if please, might they have more supper?

·         In the first action sequence, Anderson runs like he’s being chased by the school bully through the locker room, whipping him in the ass with a wet rolled-up towel.

·         I want a pet reaper. Don’t argue with me on the folly of this. Also, immortal dreaming squid-mecha? I can’t be the first person to notice the Lovecraftian bent of this – I must be late to the party on that.

·         The controls have been tweaked so you can perform diving rolls to either the left or right, to avoid fire. Unfortunately, this is performed with the same button that you use to duck and hide behind cover. So I had fun acrobatically and stylishly rolling right into enemy fire. BUT I LOOKED HOT DOING IT, YOU GUYS.

·         Ooo. The Batarian’s are mostly dicks, but still… that’s harsh to see. It makes me wonder what’s been happening in the months leading up to this set piece, that I’ll get to uncover during gameplay later. The entire “dragon’s teeth” mechanism with which the Reapers create ground troops has always been REALLY creepy to me.

·         Whoops. Guess I don’t have to rescue the kid after all. Still, despite them not taking the safe option for the narrative they created, that still feels a bit… short-cut-ish. Kind of like the cinematic trope where to be a badass, a woman has to be raped first.

·         So apparently I can use voice commands:

Cool and all, but when my wife started making a running commentary, Liara took this as specific instructions to take cover directly in front of an enemy. Also, I feel like a right twit hollering at my television – if anything, it takes me out of the action, not ensconce me further into it. Also, don’t want to have to explain to the neighbors why I was hollering “STICKY GRENADE YOU FUCK”

·         Combat not changed that much from Mass Effect 2. Not sure if I like still scrounging for clips or not.

·         YAY! WREX! My lizard buddy! I was so sad that I didn’t get more hang time with him in ME2 – let’s hope there’s more screen time for everyone’s favorite Krogan.

·         And good – Mordin. He’s still one of my most favorite characters, and not just for singing Gilbert and Sullivan.

·         And female Krogans! Interesting, hidden behind a veil – what’s that all about? I wonder what sort of commentary is going to come about because of that particular design choice?

·         I’m spending a LOT of time dynamically leaping instead of ducking into cover. This could be really problematic, as I’ve had a couple deaths due of this.

·         Second play-through as HeShep. Meh – still find FemShep’s voice acting to be way superior. This time, chose Kaidan having died.

·         Wow. Seeing Ashley instead of Kaidan, I know I made the right choice – she looks jarring out of place in that sex-kitten outfit. It’s Jersey-Mass-Effect up in here, yo: