Offensensitivity May 2, 2010

So recently, an Islamic version of Pat Robertson spoke thusly:

"Many women who do not dress modestly ... lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes"

Which, first off, is not only hilarious, but demonstrably false – were this to be the case, gangs of roving stripper-terrorists would descend on populated areas, threatening to pole dance entire cities into the ocean. Fredericks of Hollywood and Victoria’s secret would be forced go underground, selling their weapons-grade crotchless panties to only the highest bidder. And knowing our hysterically safety-first culture, this would be the new face of sexy:

You can’t touch this. No really, you can’t.

(Also, let’s be clear: I would have died several dozen times over due to these merchants of wholesale slaughter. YOU FUCKING BASTARDS! YOU BLEW IT UP!)

When confronted with narrow minded absurdity, the best defense is finding the funny –to see that it’s worked pretty well, you need look no further that for The Daily Show and Stephen Colbert. I am to understand they’re having some measure of success. And thankfully, someone did jump right on this with Boobquake. On the off chance that you have just connected to the internet for the first time in several weeks, have suddenly risen from a coma, or had you frozen head re-thawed and sewn on some d-list celebrity (WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF TOMORROW!), the author put it thusly:

Time for a Boobquake.

On Monday, April 26th, I will wear the most cleavage-showing shirt I own. Yes, the one usually reserved for a night on the town. I encourage other female skeptics to join me and embrace the supposed supernatural power of their breasts. Or short shorts, if that's your preferred form of immodesty. With the power of our scandalous bodies combined, we should surely produce an earthquake. If not, I'm sure Sedighi can come up with a rational explanation for why the ground didn't rumble. And if we really get through to him, maybe it'll be one involving plate tectonics.

I thought this was absolutely awesome – it’s poking fun at narrow-minded thinking with absurd humor. And, full disclosure here – I did send it on to my wife in the hopes that she would participate, because… well…

Place your bets now, gents: Will I get punched when my wife sees this?

But truly, I just loved the idea of collectively thumbing our nose at ridiculous proclamations. You can fight fire with fire, and all you’ll do is end up with scorched earth. Find the funny, and you’ll suck all the oxygen out because everyone will be laughing too hard. I was happy to see the idea of Boobquake spread rapidly throughout the webbertubes, and smiled quite a bit over it.

Other people decided not to join, and found the idea objectionable… specifically, the idea that guys would leeringly nudge people to join in the same way that drunk tourist asshole follows girls around with plastic beads during Mardis Gras, haranguing them to “take it off”. My problem is that those assholes will always be there, always leering, visually sliming people. I never like seeing anyone treated as if they are merely the sum of their physical attributes, but living your life to deny them the chance to bleat and hoot is cutting off your nose to spite your face.

Look, I’ve been ridiculed for my size, shape, and appearance – and I’m not saying that this is a perfect analogue to the slimy objectification of women against their will, but we’re also the some of our experiences, and as they vary from person to person, it informs us as to how we deal with external stimuli, whether it’s the barista with a coy smile who is always happy to see you, or someone who thinks “Bikini Inspector” is a dream job. I have been reduced to the sum of my appearances, and chosen to live my life in spite of it, and have worked hard to make sure that my enjoyment isn’t negated by other people’s narrow viewpoints.

(I also have a problem with how some bloggers and other pundits leapt upon this as a chance to be contrary, to make their bones over this – being contrary as a way to raise their visibility. Good journalism doesn’t have to run afoul of common sense in lieu of proceeding in tandem)

A life free of offense is impossible – we’re definitely entitled to our opinions, but much of what defines us is how we choose to behave and handle those situations, both in how we act and in our heart & minds.

I choose to find the funny.