So apparently the government is trying to make us all gay... September 22, 2010

... through special plastics and ingredients in juice boxes and Kettle-brand chips:

 

 

Two things here....

1)      Let's just say I'm not svelte. And I can tell you that I have had my fair share of Kettle-brand chips, and unless suddenly being attracted to the same sex feels just like greasy regret and salty bloat, then I think we can shoot this one down. Besides, being suddenly attracted to the same sex feels exactly like a sugar-crash after eating 3 pints of cherry garcia (SORRY HOMOS BUT THIS ONE WOULD HAVE OUTED SOONER OR LATER)

2)      If the government is turning us gay, then aren't the queerest and most flaming then the most patriotic amongst us? They're not homos, THEY'RE FREEDOM-FAGS!